How to Write Wedding Vows That Sound Like You: A Celebrant's Guide

Stuck on a blank page? Call me on 0409 551 585 and let's find your words together.

Knowing how to write wedding vows that feel true to you is one of the most common worries couples bring to me. You want something meaningful, but not cheesy. Personal, but not too private for 80 guests to hear.

I'm Amanda Morgan, a civil celebrant born and raised on the Mornington Peninsula. Over many ceremonies, I've learned that great vows aren't about beautiful writing. They're about honest, specific words that only the two of you could say.

On this page

1. Legal vows vs personal vows
2. How to write wedding vows in 6 steps
3. A simple vow structure you can follow
4. Wedding vow examples
5. Tips for reading your vows on the day
6. Frequently asked questions

Key takeaways

• Every Australian marriage includes short legal vows; your personal vows are added alongside them.
• Aim for one to two minutes each, roughly 150 to 250 words.
• Specific beats grand. One real memory says more than a dozen clichés.
• Agree on length and tone together, even if you keep the words a surprise.
• Print your vows on a card. Phones and paper napkins don't photograph well.
  

Legal Vows vs Personal Vows: What's the Difference?

In Australia, the Marriage Act 1961 requires each of you to say a short legal vow, or words to that effect:



"I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, [your name], take you, [partner's name], to be my lawful wedded wife / husband / spouse."

That's the part that makes your marriage legal. Your personal vows are everything you add on top.

You can choose wife, husband or spouse, or use your partner's name. Your celebrant will make sure the legal words are said correctly, so you can focus on the personal part.

How to Write Wedding Vows in 6 Simple Steps

1. Agree on the ground rules together

Before either of you writes a word, decide on length, tone and whether the vows will be a surprise. Matching styles stops one of you reading a heartfelt page while the other tells a two-line joke.

2. Brainstorm before you write

Grab a notebook and answer a few questions quickly, without editing yourself:

• When did you know this was the person?
• What do they do that nobody else notices?
• What has been hard, and how did you get through it together?
• What does an ordinary Sunday with them look like?
• What are you most looking forward to?
  

3. Pick one or two real stories

Choose a moment that shows who your partner is, rather than one that just describes them. "You're kind" is lovely. "You drove to Frankston at midnight to bring my mum her forgotten tablets" is unforgettable.

4. Turn feelings into promises

Vows are promises, so make some of them concrete. Mix big commitments with small, everyday ones that make people smile.



• "I promise to choose us, even on the hard days."
• "I promise to always save you the last piece of Red Hill cheese."
  

5. Write it out loud

Read your draft aloud as you go. If a sentence trips you up, shorten it. Vows are heard, not read, so short sentences land best.

6. Edit, then leave it alone

Cut anything that needs explaining, any in-joke only one guest will get, and anything too private for grandparents. Then put the draft away for a few days and read it fresh.

A Simple Wedding Vow Structure You Can Follow

If you're not sure where to start, this five-part shape works for almost every couple.

That adds up to roughly one to two minutes when spoken at a calm pace.

Want help shaping your words? Every personalised wedding ceremony I write includes guidance on your vows, if you'd like it. Call me on 0409 551 585.

Wedding Vow Examples to Inspire You

Use these as a starting point, not a script. Swap in your own details so they sound like you.

A heartfelt example

"Sam, from the first walk we took along the Mount Martha foreshore, I knew I'd found my person. You make ordinary days feel like something worth remembering. I promise to listen, to stay curious about you, and to choose us every single day. Today I give you my heart, completely."

A light-hearted example

"Jess, you still haven't learned how to load a dishwasher, and I've stopped minding. I promise to laugh at your jokes, even the third time. I promise to warm up the car on cold mornings. And I promise to love you through every season, including footy season."

A short and simple example

"Alex, you are my calm and my adventure. I promise to be honest, to be kind, and to keep showing up for you. I'm so proud to be your husband."

Vows for a couple with children

"Taylor, today I'm marrying you and promising to keep building the family we already love. To you, and to Mia and Leo, I promise patience, laughter and a home where everyone belongs."

Tips for Reading Your Vows on the Day

• Print them on a small card. It looks better in photos than a phone screen.
• Practise out loud at least three times before the day.
• Slow down. Nerves make everyone rush, so pause after each promise.
• Look up at your partner at the end of each sentence.
• Keep a tissue nearby. Happy tears are very common.
• Give your celebrant a copy. If nerves take over, they can quietly prompt you.

Outdoor ceremonies on the Peninsula can be breezy, especially by the water. Speak a little slower and louder than feels natural so guests at the back can hear.

Writing Your Own Vows vs Using Traditional Vows

There's no wrong choice. Some couples write a short personal promise and then repeat traditional words after me.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should wedding vows be?

Around one to two minutes each, which is roughly 150 to 250 words. Long enough to feel meaningful, short enough to hold everyone's attention.

Do we have to write our own wedding vows?

No. You only need to say the short legal vows. Personal vows are optional, and many couples choose traditional words instead.

Should our vows be a surprise?

It's up to you. If you keep them secret, agree on length and tone first, or share them with your celebrant so they can check they're balanced.

Can we change the legal vow words?

Only slightly. The law allows "words to that effect", so you can choose wife, husband or spouse, but the legal meaning must stay the same.

Can we write our vows together?

Yes. Some couples write one shared set of promises and say them together, or alternate lines. It's a lovely way to take the pressure off.

What if I get emotional while reading my vows?

That's completely normal. Pause, breathe and smile. Your celebrant can give you a moment or read the next line with you.

Should we include humour?

A little humour helps, especially to settle nerves. Balance it with at least one sincere promise so the moment still feels meaningful.

When should we start writing our vows?

About two months before the wedding is ideal. It gives you time to draft, rest and edit without last-minute stress.

Can our celebrant help us write our vows?

Yes. I'm happy to share prompts, structures and feedback, though the most personal words are always yours.

Ready to Write Wedding Vows That Feel Like You?

Learning how to write wedding vows doesn't have to be stressful. Start with one true story, add a few honest promises, and read it out loud until it feels natural.

As a Mornington Peninsula marriage celebrant, I'll help you shape your vows and weave them into a ceremony that sounds like the two of you. Whether you're marrying by the bay or looking for a wedding celebrant in Mount Martha, I'd love to hear your story.

Call 0409 551 585 or email amanda@amandacelebrant.com.au. Wedding ceremonies start from 650+GST(715 incl. GST).